Band name: Phlefonyaar (or jjfffvhngbbfvbg as some pronounce it.)
Location: Reclining just off centre (Nr London)
Genre: Post skiffle (doom)
Tell us a bit about your band – how long have you been going, why you do what you do, what you want to achieve.
We're basically 2 guys and a drum machine with a love of vast, disgustingly filthy low end noises, machinery sounds and the sort of gallows humour that can kill a yak at 40 yards. We've been going for probably longer than I'm comfortable admitting, it must be 20 years and the reason we're still going is that I think we're not really sure what else we could do and not get into trouble. I think you'd just find us standing in a field screaming and weeping if we didn't do this. Personally my dream is to become a batman style super villain, that is the goal.
You have a new release coming out soon – without giving too much away tell us what listeners can expect from it.
It's just thirty odd minutes of me saying terrible things over horrible noises.
Plans for the next 12 months
Hopefully shows, more loud noises, videos, find cats (we like cats) and interact with them. Attempt to outrun the reaper... And the aforementioned batman styled super villainy.
Tell us a bit about what it's like to experience your live show.
Ghastly, depressing, strangely life affirming.... but mainly horrible. You may need to wear something that can be wiped clean.
How does the band prepare for a gig?
Jim drinks and warms up on guitar and keeps an eye on me, I shadow box, stretch and drink and try to work out if I can make a run for it.
Name 3 bands you would love to tour with and why
Ministry: can someone please ask uncle Al if we can support him? I'm serious. If your reading this PLEASE! Just once. Make a childhood dream come true.
Killing Joke: I want to hear Loose Cannon live again and I'd love free tickets.
Nachtmystium and Dark Fortress: yeah we did it before... but we'd love to do it again. Great bands, great guys, great shows.
Can I throw Rob Zombie in here too? Cos that's another childhood dream.
Name a band you'd love to give a shout out to and think people should listen to (not your own band)
NOT my own band? Hmm that requires thinking about others before myself (Something I'm not sure I approve of) Let's see.... there's a local band to us called Skullf**ked. They're good guys. Everest Queen, Slaine. All from our area, take your pick.
How much has the internet and technology helped your band to get to the point it is today.
Rememb you're talking to a caveman here, (my computer acts as a doorstop) I guess it's helped. It's certainly made getting opportunities that normally 2 scumbag backwoods hicks like us would never have gotten. Just the connectivity alone with the outside world has been very helpful.
What's are you listening to right now?
Buzzov'en- The Gospel According II... Love that album.
Ok you have a few lines to tell us why people should listen to your band. GO.
It is true that you may not like us, but you will dance!